Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
