that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Watching her eat just hurts me
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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