i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
