just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just cropdusted the office
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
