my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
