And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
