is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
