And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
