Jerry, you need to find god
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
