What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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