i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
