I would go down on you faster than GM stock
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
