so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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