like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I love having hate sex.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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