Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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