people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
