Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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