3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
