we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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