PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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