My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
