This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
