Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
