He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
