i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
