I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
