Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Randomize
