i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She needs sedatives and a leash
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
