have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
