i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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