I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
