hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
