My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It's shark week go big or go home
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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