He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
