its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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