Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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