I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
When are your genitals available?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
