hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
