please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
