hell yes lets make some ravioli
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you win again, gameday.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
