Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
