babies were throwing up all over the place
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
