false alarm. still invincible.
the day after is always just damage control
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
