hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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