he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
