Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
