Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
