yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
