she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
