my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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