i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
