yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
